








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1154 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1110 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,943 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOMMILANTINE | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | IKH | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Tuomari | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | jED | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1me | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Sörsselssön | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | IKH | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | JukeNukem | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Y L L I | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JANNU[e] | +7.16 | 88 | 77 |
| #2 | IKH | +6.09 | 87 | 78 |
| #3 | Luttinen | +3.53 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | TOMMILANTINE | +3.12 | 56 | 74 |
| #5 | 𝓙𝓺𝓱 | +2.99 | 76 | 64 |





