








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,355 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobody Canna Cross It | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Stiflers daddy | 4 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | derbmann [AUT] | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | die_grnen | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobody Canna Cross It | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | derbmann [AUT] | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | die_grnen | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fraunz | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | dav23id | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pin Occhio | +2.72 | 68 | 42 |
| #2 | derbmann [AUT] | +2.26 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | Fraunz | +1.68 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | steve the pirate | +1.08 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | Nobody Canna Cross It | +0.46 | 78 | 55 |





