








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 228 matches | 2,128 | |
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3205 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4045 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4320 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3402 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,470,401 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulsrud | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | develo-- | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | plex | 61% | 97 |
| #4 | gimme the boiii | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | aRCOn | 59% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | ZeRostyle! | 48% | 21 |
| #16 | duvel | 44% | 34 |
| #17 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 43% | 28 |
| #18 | parow | 39% | 31 |
| #19 | ♛ hiM^ | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | develo-- | +2.11 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Ulsrud | +1.98 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | mIKAELP | +1.43 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | duvel | +1.39 | 64 | 78 |
| #5 | plex | +1.33 | 75 | 73 |





