








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1079 | 53% |
| Smokes | 204 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 436 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $123,490 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruki | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | stoney | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | SmuttyDog | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | g1n | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | xQxry | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dog Ate Glue Again | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ruki | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | oh shit im sorry | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Ruki | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | stoney | 3 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dog Ate Glue Again | 311 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | ruki | 159 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | AwkwardLeggy | 110 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | BridgerdaYote | 89 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #5 | Surge | 84 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruki | +6.57 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | xQxry | +5.90 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | ruki | +5.40 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | The Dog Ate Glue Again | +3.31 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | g1n | +2.73 | 70 | 66 |





