








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2716 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2605 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2041 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2472 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,056 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | recantly | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Tornf4lk | 67% | 54 |
| #3 | sherwood | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | 0uwayS_ | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | NE$$ | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Budget Xyp9x | 58% | 64 |
| #7 | apb | 54% | 46 |
| #8 | bubbles | 52% | 66 |
| #9 | xsolo1 | 49% | 61 |
| #10 | Grim Messorem | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherwood | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Budget Xyp9x | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | recantly | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Tornf4lk | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | apb | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xsolo1 | 376 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tornf4lk | 280 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | sherwood | 177 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | bubbles | 158 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | apb | 125 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apb | +3.36 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | sherwood | +2.94 | 94 | 63 |
| #3 | recantly | +0.92 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | MouhyeB | +0.87 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | NE$$ | +0.76 | 81 | 64 |





