








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1190 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1299 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 499 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 837 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,873 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0uwayS_ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | apb | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | noctzen | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | MouhyeB | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | Budget Xyp9x | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bubbles | 45% | 87 |
| #7 | YOERI in je kont | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Grim Messorem | 36% | 25 |
| #9 | JustDavid#Washed | 36% | 25 |
| #10 | wonnable | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Budget Xyp9x | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | apb | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubbles | 240 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | MouhyeB | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | apb | 124 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | JustDavid#Washed | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Grim Messorem | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apb | +3.52 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | noctzen | +1.50 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | MouhyeB | +1.33 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | 0uwayS_ | +1.29 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | Budget Xyp9x | +1.04 | 73 | 53 |





