








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 997 | 26% |
| Smokes | 714 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 928 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,268 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QQuaLLe | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | meb | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | buffoon | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | rumour | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | kathAAA | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QQuaLLe | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | meb | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | buffoon | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | rumour | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | kathAAA | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meb | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | rumour | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | QQuaLLe | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | kathAAA | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meb | 113 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | buffoon | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | QQuaLLe | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | kathAAA | 16 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | rumour | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buffoon | +2.65 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | QQuaLLe | +1.99 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | Swordfish | -0.16 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | meb | -0.34 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | rumour | -1.15 | 65 | 38 |





