








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 851 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 577 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7053 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1576 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 8173 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 353 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,556,830 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMoD1998 | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Pumpkin | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | rumour | 50% | 432 |
| #4 | buffoon | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | cryptur | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMoD1998 | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Pumpkin | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | rumour | 50% | 432 |
| #4 | buffoon | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | cryptur | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rumour | 67 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Pumpkin | 17 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | buffoon | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | iMoD1998 | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | cryptur | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rumour | 804 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | buffoon | 270 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | cryptur | 168 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | iMoD1998 | 119 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pumpkin | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buffoon | +3.89 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Pumpkin | +3.47 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | meb | -0.49 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | cryptur | -1.12 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | rumour | -1.32 | 64 | 42 |





