








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 559 | 25% |
| Smokes | 471 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 637 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 557 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,692 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gergaut | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | YaEnte | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | NM3K | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Dake | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | No Money 3 Kids | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | YaEnte | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | NM3K | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Dake | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | No Money 3 Kids | 50% | 52 |
| #6 | Majah HNL | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | YaEnte | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Majah HNL | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | NM3K | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 263 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | Majah HNL | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | NM3K | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dake | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | YaEnte | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NM3K | +6.14 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | No Money 3 Kids | +3.85 | 86 | 76 |
| #3 | gergaut | +0.14 | 89 | 39 |
| #4 | dqbitus | -0.10 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | Dake | -1.21 | 47 | 56 |





