








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1406 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1520 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 713 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1162 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,092 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | biff | 38% | 16 |
| #17 | Morten N. | 38% | 32 |
| #18 | ClNasty | 35% | 17 |
| #19 | Nic3# | 32% | 22 |
| #20 | Karstein | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jEWLEN | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | BotKS | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Jetta Driver | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | ig☻r | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Gamsty | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BotKS | 112 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Morten N. | 106 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Elvin | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gamsty | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | sQuirtmaker | 68 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BotKS | +3.09 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | ig☻r | +2.36 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | ClNasty | +2.22 | 91 | 72 |
| #4 | SHIGGAElicious | +1.70 | 58 | 74 |
| #5 | SHIGGAE | +1.50 | 69 | 80 |





