








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3353 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3556 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3451 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4057 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,198,467 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeesus | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Blindi | 61% | 72 |
| #3 | Nippe | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Hara | 55% | 88 |
| #5 | jaakk O))) | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hara | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Blindi | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jaki- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Pete | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 332 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | ana | 294 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | jaki- | 268 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pete | 237 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Da Bälts | 215 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blindi | +2.96 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | jeesus | +2.29 | 76 | 74 |
| #3 | ana | +1.36 | 77 | 77 |
| #4 | EKstrs | +1.00 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | Pete | +0.77 | 70 | 75 |





