








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2245 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2313 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1504 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1588 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,162 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phyx | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | wino | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | glENn | 46% | 133 |
| #4 | Jeddan | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | vebb | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | glENn | 46% | 133 |
| #4 | Jeddan | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | vebb | 43% | 90 |
| #6 | Adolen | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | Njakke | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glENn | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | vebb | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Jeddan | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Njakke | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | wino | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glENn | 717 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #2 | vebb | 423 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #3 | Jeddan | 161 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Njakke | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | wino | 48 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glENn | +1.65 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | vebb | +1.14 | 85 | 77 |
| #3 | wino | +0.05 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | Njakke | -0.09 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | phyx | -0.20 | 59 | 68 |





