








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2891 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1598 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1953 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1963 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,472 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symbiotic Ace | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Defacto | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Braxty | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | fizix | 51% | 90 |
| #5 | Just1ceBeav3r | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Just1ceBeav3r | 46% | 35 |
| #6 | Jam-37 | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | caYabo | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | yesreK | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | 51LoveLost | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 51LoveLost | 5 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Defacto | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | caYabo | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | fizix | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | yesreK | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1ceBeav3r | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Braxty | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | fizix | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | caYabo | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jam-37 | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jam-37 | +3.13 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | StonedBadger | +1.66 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Braxty | +0.79 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | fizix | -0.17 | 57 | 40 |
| #5 | Just1ceBeav3r | -0.24 | 65 | 48 |





