








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 867 | 26% |
| Smokes | 848 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,813 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | craxx | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | AJ Stylcs | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | hajo_sesam | 59% | 81 |
| #4 | Phyl | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Shaeggi | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AJ Stylcs | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | hajo_sesam | 59% | 81 |
| #4 | Phyl | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Shaeggi | 51% | 51 |
| #6 | Faviid | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hajo_sesam | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Shaeggi | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Faviid | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | AJ Stylcs | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Phyl | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaeggi | 274 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | hajo_sesam | 192 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Phyl | 105 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Faviid | 75 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | AJ Stylcs | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHROOMS | +1.03 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | AJ Stylcs | +0.89 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Phyl | +0.82 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | hajo_sesam | +0.82 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | craxx | +0.29 | 78 | 57 |





