








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 739 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4555 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5658 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2222 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,246,845 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Jackoffskie^-^ ? | 79% | 80 |
| #2 | HyperE141 | 72% | 123 |
| #3 | pass the awp | 72% | 388 |
| #4 | O-Blivius | 72% | 104 |
| #5 | TheSpottedHyena | 72% | 450 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 65% | 337 |
| #10 | Kweezy_ZA | 65% | 128 |
| #11 | iDrDuck | 64% | 107 |
| #12 | Matty | 60% | 270 |
| #13 | R3no | 56% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 60 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Matty | 53 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | pass the awp | 45 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | TheSpottedHyena | 28 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | iDrDuck | 27 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aykie | +4.03 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | Morgan Freeman The Semen Demon | +2.34 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | O-Blivius | +2.08 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | pass the awp | +2.06 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | TheSpottedHyena | +1.11 | 75 | 61 |





