








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2201 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2139 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2389 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,016 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAL 9000 | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Skaru | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | TER0_PANEE | 71% | 42 |
| #4 | J'ket | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | lurkuS | 70% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | plant gunner | 62% | 13 |
| #13 | retr0 | 61% | 64 |
| #14 | .Nov | 59% | 32 |
| #15 | Mut3k1 | 58% | 12 |
| #16 | Plomma | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Höken5 | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | .Nov | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | bloff | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | lurkuS | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | FR0GGE | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Höken5 | 243 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #2 | lurkuS | 232 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | retr0 | 209 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | .Nov | 187 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | zitan- | 134 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danny | LF Coach | +5.04 | 93 | 63 |
| #2 | lurkuS | +4.52 | 82 | 81 |
| #3 | deepfrog | +3.21 | 87 | 73 |
| #4 | FR0GGE | +2.57 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | plant gunner | +2.52 | 85 | 61 |





