








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 697 matches | ||
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6281 | 19% |
| Smokes | 8485 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10481 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7379 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,267,445 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lurkuS | 59% | 370 |
| #2 | Nicholas Gace | 55% | 278 |
| #3 | smpa | 54% | 251 |
| #4 | .Nov | 54% | 285 |
| #5 | Kimbo | 54% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | KALAMIES -_- | 50% | 72 |
| #10 | JuJa | 49% | 49 |
| #11 | Kontio | 49% | 47 |
| #12 | Yung Mowgli | 47% | 78 |
| #13 | Jepu ジェプ | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicholas Gace | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | J'ket | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | .Nov | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | KALAMIES -_- | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | retr0 | 2 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Nov | 1857 | 0.29 | 54 min |
| #2 | lurkuS | 1661 | 0.21 | 52 min |
| #3 | retr0 | 1047 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #4 | Nicholas Gace | 594 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #5 | Kimbo | 536 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lurkuS | +4.21 | 81 | 83 |
| #2 | J'ket | +1.23 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | smpa | -0.03 | 74 | 44 |
| #4 | TER0_PANEE | -0.12 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | Nicholas Gace | -0.16 | 82 | 67 |





