








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1930 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2290 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2565 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,465,559 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartel | 51% | 280 |
| #2 | Hornet74 | 51% | 109 |
| #3 | VanJackal | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | Headshot | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | NIXIE | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hornet74 | 51% | 109 |
| #3 | VanJackal | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | Headshot | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | NIXIE | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Tanban | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartel | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Hornet74 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | VanJackal | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Tanban | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartel | 407 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hornet74 | 399 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | NIXIE | 134 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | VanJackal | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tanban | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Synix | +3.66 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | NIXIE | +3.36 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | Hornet74 | +0.78 | 57 | 56 |
| #4 | Tanban | -0.98 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | Headshot | -2.03 | 43 | 45 |





