








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1129 | 24% |
| Smokes | 733 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1150 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1707 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $29,492 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teck | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | LarrytheCucumber | 50% | 149 |
| #3 | VikesCatgirl | 46% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teck | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | LarrytheCucumber | 50% | 149 |
| #3 | VikesCatgirl | 46% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VikesCatgirl | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | LarrytheCucumber | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Teck | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LarrytheCucumber | 269 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | VikesCatgirl | 180 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Teck | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VikesCatgirl | +3.32 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | Teck | +0.12 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | Frog | +0.08 | 41 | 38 |
| #4 | LarrytheCucumber | -1.79 | 49 | 42 |





