








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 21% |
| Smokes | 545 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 575 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 446 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,251 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕Nahkajare | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Olpukka | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | jutta | 53% | 93 |
| #4 | gäry | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Saunaklonkku | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TseiWili | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | Taretykki | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | Daasaman | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | R2G | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | nani | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saunaklonkku | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Taretykki | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | nani | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | jutta | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Olpukka | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saunaklonkku | 209 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Daasaman | 106 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | jutta | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | gäry | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Olpukka | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕Nahkajare | +8.07 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | jönssi | +5.21 | 80 | 34 |
| #3 | Daasaman | +1.69 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | Olpukka | +1.35 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Saunaklonkku | +0.10 | 58 | 76 |





