








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2682 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2975 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6265 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4778 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,445 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





