








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3847 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2911 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2387 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2759 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,098 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itstommy | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Ty | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Riptide | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | strasz | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | steff | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eychesdot | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Sunxer | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Reef | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Tori ♡ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | strasz | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eychesdot | 479 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | itstommy | 171 | 0.43 | 5 min |
| #3 | Reef | 144 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ty | 132 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sunxer | 84 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ty | +4.95 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | itstommy | +3.21 | 72 | 80 |
| #3 | certified ouppy | +1.31 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | Riptide | +1.25 | 86 | 57 |
| #5 | eychesdot | +0.95 | 66 | 72 |





