










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1024 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3742 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3471 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6782 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1611 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,045,451 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 54% | 197 |
| #2 | DEV | 51% | 77 |
| #3 | bigguy211 | 50% | 329 |
| #4 | Cordell | 50% | 190 |
| #5 | Vaxine | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DEV | 51% | 77 |
| #3 | bigguy211 | 50% | 329 |
| #4 | Cordell | 50% | 190 |
| #5 | Vaxine | 43% | 92 |
| #6 | ursadcat | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Cordell | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Vaxine | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | DEV | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigguy211 | 1098 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | Kevvvvin!!!!! | 507 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | DEV | 419 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #4 | Vaxine | 248 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | ursadcat | 248 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEV | +1.76 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | G!B | +0.71 | 47 | 43 |
| #3 | Vaxine | +0.33 | 37 | 64 |
| #4 | bigguy211 | -0.12 | 49 | 78 |
| #5 | Cordell | -0.17 | 69 | 53 |





