








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,766 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1743 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2402 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2048 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1545 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,680 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dougie Jones | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | COCAINA.MP3 | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | axle | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | Henkka | 56% | 81 |
| #5 | @lfakrull | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teemzen | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | axle | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Henkka | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teemzen | 352 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | @lfakrull | 255 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Henkka | 185 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | axle | 169 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | HONK1 | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COCAINA.MP3 | +2.24 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | axle | +1.91 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | Dougie Jones | +1.24 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | Santo | +1.08 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | HONK1 | +0.39 | 68 | 82 |





