








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 6% |
| Smokes | 85 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 87 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $43,083 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambiii'- | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | fÅR1 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Toyota Corolla | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Grilljanne | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | FatRat | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FatRat | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | oli | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | Bananaman | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | Gooseberry | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | invizzy BAM Im back | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatRat | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | invizzy BAM Im back | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | oli | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Bananaman | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Toyota Corolla | 1 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | invizzy BAM Im back | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | oli | 62 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | FatRat | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lambiii'- | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Toyota Corolla | 19 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oli | +6.52 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | Lambiii'- | +5.47 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | invizzy BAM Im back | +5.34 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | Grilljanne | +4.47 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | Toyota Corolla | +3.67 | 87 | 62 |





