








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,922 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8373 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6307 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5294 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3527 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,567 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmilS | 74% | 42 |
| #2 | S0lid^ | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Zzzzz | 58% | 74 |
| #4 | Mikael | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | ✰s3ny✰ | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zzzzz | 58% | 74 |
| #4 | Mikael | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | ✰s3ny✰ | 57% | 40 |
| #6 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | 55% | 85 |
| #7 | p90TRulz_-____> | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmilS | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ✰s3ny✰ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | S0lid^ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Mikael | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | 349 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | S0lid^ | 207 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Zzzzz | 188 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | p90TRulz_-____> | 137 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | EmilS | 125 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmilS | +2.71 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | S0lid^ | +1.04 | 56 | 79 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | +0.94 | 66 | 80 |
| #4 | dBUG | +0.63 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | Zzzzz | +0.18 | 75 | 73 |





