








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 572 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 233 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6366 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7058 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8604 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8208 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,448,457 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dBUG | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | Mikael | 55% | 310 |
| #3 | ♔Aslan | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | ✰s3ny✰ | 52% | 271 |
| #5 | CRabby | 51% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | p90TRulz_-____> | 50% | 247 |
| #9 | vedh0lm | 50% | 115 |
| #10 | Edd | 49% | 55 |
| #11 | Celusion | 45% | 40 |
| #12 | ☣☣☣ Gragz ☣☣☣ | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | 5 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | p90TRulz_-____> | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Mikael | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | ✰s3ny✰ | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | ♔Aslan | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | 2707 | 0.21 | 77 min |
| #2 | CRabby | 1268 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #3 | p90TRulz_-____> | 809 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #4 | vedh0lm | 498 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #5 | Mikael | 466 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zzzzz | +1.65 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ ᠌M | +1.60 | 67 | 81 |
| #3 | dBUG | +1.47 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | Celusion | +0.69 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | vedh0lm | +0.50 | 52 | 75 |





