








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3039 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2641 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3093 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3114 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,858 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wh1sky | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | eidk | 64% | 83 |
| #3 | KlutcH | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | nuggets | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | DrClampz | 48% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | eidk | 64% | 83 |
| #3 | KlutcH | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | nuggets | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | DrClampz | 48% | 180 |
| #6 | mattchew | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrClampz | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | nuggets | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | eidk | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | KlutcH | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrClampz | 665 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | nuggets | 186 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | eidk | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wh1sky | 95 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | KlutcH | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlutcH | +2.98 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | eidk | +1.94 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | nuggets | +1.26 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Wh1sky | +0.45 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | dEWski | +0.15 | 70 | 61 |





