








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 875 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3797 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4464 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1914 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2526 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,916,477 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlutcH | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | eidk | 52% | 360 |
| #3 | DrClampz | 51% | 100 |
| #4 | Ahn- | 50% | 139 |
| #5 | Wh1sky | 50% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wh1sky | 50% | 318 |
| #6 | dEWski | 49% | 88 |
| #7 | jwright | 48% | 58 |
| #8 | Saint | 48% | 50 |
| #9 | rawr | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eidk | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Ahn- | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Wh1sky | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | DrClampz | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | rawr | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wh1sky | 594 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | eidk | 552 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | DrClampz | 348 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | dEWski | 172 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ahn- | 97 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlutcH | +2.20 | 60 | 61 |
| #2 | eidk | +1.25 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | nuggets | +1.06 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Wh1sky | -0.06 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | dEWski | -0.18 | 67 | 60 |





