








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1007 | 27% |
| Smokes | 811 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1022 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 944 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,864 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrClampz | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | LEXISNOTHERE | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | KlutcH | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | bpizzle | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | dEWski | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LEXISNOTHERE | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | KlutcH | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | bpizzle | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | dEWski | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | m&M | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlutcH | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | bpizzle | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlutcH | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | m&M | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | dEWski | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | bpizzle | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | DrClampz | 23 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bpizzle | +3.89 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | KlutcH | +2.14 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | LEXISNOTHERE | +1.63 | 47 | 73 |
| #4 | mattchew | -0.04 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | m&M | -0.29 | 65 | 59 |





