








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 928 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1679 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1384 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,904 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hokage p | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | eidk | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | rodneyP | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | nuggets | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | mattchew | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DrClampz | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | bpizzle | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | dEWski | 49% | 49 |
| #9 | Wh1sky | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | m&M | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mattchew | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | nuggets | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | dEWski | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | m&M | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | eidk | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mattchew | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | m&M | 95 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | nuggets | 94 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | dEWski | 80 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | hokage p | 63 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bpizzle | +3.14 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | KlutcH | +1.83 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | nuggets | +1.68 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | eidk | +1.01 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Wh1sky | +0.38 | 56 | 64 |





