








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1510 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1709 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,216 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hogelele | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Nibzter | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | pazzy | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Jokoor | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | Bjorna | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elOoo | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | pazzy | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | hogelele | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | jeenyuhs28 | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | ✪ Aspeladden | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | +5.87 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | Jokoor | +2.28 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Jesp | +2.10 | 91 | 75 |
| #4 | Aco | +1.98 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | McLovin123 | +1.70 | 87 | 53 |





