








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6692 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6066 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2904 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4219 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,217,441 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pespas the Man | 58% | 81 |
| #2 | luss1ng | 57% | 67 |
| #3 | Noj | 56% | 48 |
| #4 | W0RKABLE™ | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | ConfusedWitness | 54% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | :i | 50% | 149 |
| #8 | Bot Dank | 49% | 35 |
| #9 | w4sted | 48% | 154 |
| #10 | Ferracity | 47% | 76 |
| #11 | Fraser | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred1312 | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Pespas the Man | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | w4sted | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Noj | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Ferracity | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred1312 | 1155 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | w4sted | 677 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | ConfusedWitness | 345 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ferracity | 246 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | :i | 222 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luss1ng | +2.85 | 50 | 75 |
| #2 | W0RKABLE™ | +1.86 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | w4sted | +1.72 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | :i | +1.24 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | Noj | +1.16 | 61 | 58 |





