








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7242 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5679 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3008 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3553 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,857 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Tsekkipiiska♿ | 60% | 75 |
| #2 | ★Peltzi★ | 57% | 74 |
| #3 | JerzND | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | zezzelele | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Agent Dimitri | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Woony | 42% | 64 |
| #18 | StinkyWind | 39% | 23 |
| #19 | lartza | 39% | 36 |
| #20 | tatuuv | 39% | 44 |
| #21 | RUMPPO | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkisesti silver | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Noa!m | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | axel | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JerzND | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | asiksi | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkisesti silver | 400 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | JerzND | 324 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Noa!m | 277 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | asiksi | 213 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Woony | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |





