








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4233 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3207 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3234 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,881 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kippers | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | RobbaN | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Osterstrom | 52% | 111 |
| #4 | Hira | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | Axlekansder | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Axlekansder | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Benim | 48% | 86 |
| #7 | yard | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Exi | 44% | 61 |
| #9 | foxy | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osterstrom | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Kippers | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Hira | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Benim | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | foxy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benim | 498 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | Osterstrom | 248 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Hira | 224 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | RobbaN | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Exi | 97 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yard | +4.84 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | Exi | +4.38 | 90 | 69 |
| #3 | RobbaN | +2.90 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | Kippers | +1.06 | 86 | 79 |
| #5 | Axlekansder | +0.78 | 68 | 54 |





