








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2406 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3209 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3714 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2768 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,494,089 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goodstuffe | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | pine | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | Exi | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | hampush' | 61% | 110 |
| #5 | RobbaN | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Benim | 57% | 260 |
| #9 | Juan | 53% | 78 |
| #10 | yard | 49% | 67 |
| #11 | NoTiiS | 48% | 29 |
| #12 | Osterstrom | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benim | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Hira | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | hampush' | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Juan | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | SparWen | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benim | 1337 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #2 | SparWen | 299 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hira | 254 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Juan | 198 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | hampush' | 188 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exi | +3.58 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | yard | +2.83 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | RobbaN | +2.78 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | SparWen | +1.68 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | Juan | +0.78 | 76 | 74 |





