








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 572 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 333 matches | ||
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14775 | 33% |
| Smokes | 13109 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5752 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 11421 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,140,212 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russo BeatYourAss GOT HACKED | 52% | 292 |
| #2 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 52% | 940 |
| #3 | Likelycheating | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | jman | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Grim Reaper | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russo BeatYourAss GOT HACKED | 52% | 292 |
| #2 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 52% | 940 |
| #3 | Likelycheating | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | jman | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Grim Reaper | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 27 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Likelycheating | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Russo BeatYourAss GOT HACKED | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Grim Reaper | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | jman | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 4684 | 0.25 | 96 min |
| #2 | Likelycheating | 877 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | Russo BeatYourAss GOT HACKED | 410 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | jman | 357 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Grim Reaper | 149 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | +3.32 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | newb | -0.24 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | Russo BeatYourAss GOT HACKED | -0.48 | 39 | 50 |
| #4 | jman | -0.50 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | Likelycheating | -1.45 | 25 | 66 |





