








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Esplay | 23 matches | 1,972 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1909 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1782 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2888 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,131,137 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRESSA | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Pala | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Input | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | sjokor0lf | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | stian.K | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pala | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Input | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | sjokor0lf | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | stian.K | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | HACKMAN | 50% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HACKMAN | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | stian.K | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | CHRESSA | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HACKMAN | 454 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | stian.K | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | sjokor0lf | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | CHRESSA | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pala | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRESSA | +2.30 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | Pala | +1.89 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | HACKMAN | +1.61 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | Input | +0.45 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | aLVAREZ | +0.15 | 70 | 61 |





