








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2852 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2342 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,949 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Gorillos | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | boniupeek | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | I am Groot | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Gorillos | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | boniupeek | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | I am Groot | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am Groot | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gorillos | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | boniupeek | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | mabe | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | I am Groot | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | +1.93 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | HerceN | +1.27 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | I am Groot | +0.28 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Gorillos | +0.18 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | boniupeek | -2.66 | 23 | 56 |





