








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2852 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2342 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,748 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Gorillos | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | boniupeek | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | I am Groot | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabe | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Gorillos | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | boniupeek | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | I am Groot | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am Groot | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Gorillos | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | boniupeek | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gorillos | 155 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | I am Groot | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | mabe | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | boniupeek | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HerceN | +2.21 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | mabe | +0.29 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | Gorillos | +0.01 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | I am Groot | -0.13 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | boniupeek | -4.01 | 23 | 55 |





