








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2759 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3214 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2442 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,410 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLE NOOOO | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Pod | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | furrypotter | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | JY | 58% | 95 |
| #5 | JAKKESTARRR | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | BluFF | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Hood | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | JAKKESTARRR | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | UNCLE NOOOO | 3 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 917 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | BluFF | 784 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #3 | precog` | 740 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #4 | Hood | 279 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | JAKKESTARRR | 129 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKKESTARRR | +2.55 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | furrypotter | +2.21 | 52 | 53 |
| #3 | Pod | +1.90 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | BluFF | +1.65 | 75 | 75 |
| #5 | killsoft | +1.36 | 80 | 61 |





