








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 386 | 19% |
| Smokes | 689 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 297 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,786 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nib | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Fellan | 52% | 152 |
| #3 | Little Beast | 47% | 66 |
| #4 | sebby | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Govers | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nib | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Fellan | 52% | 152 |
| #3 | Little Beast | 47% | 66 |
| #4 | sebby | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Govers | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellan | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Little Beast | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | sebby | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Govers | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Nib | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellan | 188 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Little Beast | 107 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | sebby | 91 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Govers | 59 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nib | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Govers | +2.51 | 62 | 58 |
| #2 | Fellan | +1.54 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | sebby | +1.48 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Nib | +0.67 | 39 | 63 |
| #5 | Zees | -0.57 | 66 | 37 |





