








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 18% |
| Smokes | 501 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 601 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,514 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeoush | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Xarial | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Annie | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | cheapgorilla | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Relo | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Callum | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | drweissbrot | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | sighlar | 20% | 5 |
| #12 | Lizzie4Lyf #RipMyQueen | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | TeenBulma | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Relo | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Mex | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Callum | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Yeoush | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Scruff | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IOExceptional | 291 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | Relo | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mex | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yeoush | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | cheapgorilla | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheapgorilla | +1.14 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Relo | +1.02 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | IOExceptional | +0.77 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | Scruff | +0.17 | 71 | 44 |
| #5 | Yeoush | -0.12 | 69 | 59 |





