








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 20% |
| Smokes | 574 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 450 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,426 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IO | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Xarial | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Azureks | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | scully | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Callum | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Relo | 41% | 59 |
| #10 | Palo | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | Sin | 34% | 35 |
| #12 | Lizzie4Lyf #RipMyQueen | 22% | 9 |
| #13 | TeenBulma | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Relo | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Callum | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Yeoush | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | cheapgorilla | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IOExceptional | 324 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #2 | Relo | 93 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yeoush | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | scully | 41 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | IO | 40 | 0.41 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheapgorilla | +1.86 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | IO | +1.52 | 56 | 76 |
| #3 | Relo | +0.59 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | Azureks | +0.33 | 83 | 35 |
| #5 | IOExceptional | +0.20 | 69 | 70 |





