








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4653 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3419 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3930 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3270 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $697,496 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cruel | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | CendenZ | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Andri | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | viktorj0h. | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | LONGBOGHINI | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Morendiz | 49% | 39 |
| #18 | Blóm | 48% | 27 |
| #19 | Iceman | 41% | 32 |
| #20 | saint | 39% | 18 |
| #21 | SykZz | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expert | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | EAZY | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Andri | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Gnarr | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | SykZz | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EAZY | 167 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | expert | 154 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | mind cntrl | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Andri | 85 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Biggie Smalls | 82 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mind cntrl | +4.56 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | EAZY | +2.51 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | konneh | +2.50 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | LONGBOGHINI | +2.39 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | DREDINN | +2.17 | 46 | 86 |





