








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 591 matches | ||
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 263 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7880 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8442 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 10096 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6757 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,759,096 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 836 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sausage Swiper | 54% | 213 |
| #2 | axiz | 53% | 112 |
| #3 | Y0lo | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | Cruel | 49% | 375 |
| #5 | saint | 48% | 399 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | saint | 48% | 399 |
| #6 | DREDINN | 47% | 503 |
| #7 | Sack- | 46% | 208 |
| #8 | Gnarr | 46% | 405 |
| #9 | Palmihlynsson | 45% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnarr | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | DREDINN | 7 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | saint | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Cruel | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Palmihlynsson | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DREDINN | 2471 | 0.22 | 84 min |
| #2 | Gnarr | 1137 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #3 | saint | 754 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #4 | Sack- | 649 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #5 | Cruel | 608 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sack- | +1.77 | 55 | 72 |
| #2 | DREDINN | +0.60 | 60 | 86 |
| #3 | axiz | +0.37 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Morendiz | +0.17 | 57 | 69 |
| #5 | Sausage Swiper | +0.01 | 83 | 60 |





