








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2618 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3321 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2913 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3805 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,511 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KadO[P] | 50% | 38 |
| #9 | intxx.64 | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | cmill | 48% | 48 |
| #11 | ☆KBZ★ | 47% | 49 |
| #12 | OBSQ | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby ~ Scouts | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | TrelL | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Maxximou5 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | OBSQ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Zen | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen | 348 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | cmill | 253 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kirby ~ Scouts | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Maxximou5 | 156 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | KadO[P] | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |





