








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 604 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3199 | 11% |
| Smokes | 10471 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 8938 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7313 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,322,206 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ☆KBZ★ | 49% | 323 |
| #10 | intxx.64 | 46% | 87 |
| #11 | p_LAN | 43% | 49 |
| #12 | z64 | 43% | 105 |
| #13 | OBSQ | 42% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby ~ Scouts | 22 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ☆KBZ★ | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Just A Game `e` | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Maxximou5 | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | z64 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby ~ Scouts | 731 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | Zen | 460 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | ☆KBZ★ | 397 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Just A Game `e` | 331 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | intxx.64 | 303 | 0.16 | 9 min |





