








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 454 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2095 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5206 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2792 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2566 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,101,733 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₴aиd_Flєa | 55% | 114 |
| #2 | Sir Chickey Nuggies | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | 50% | 72 |
| #4 | BaboonHotSauce | 50% | 282 |
| #5 | samwise39 | 43% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BaboonHotSauce | 50% | 282 |
| #5 | samwise39 | 43% | 87 |
| #6 | ursadcat | 40% | 47 |
| #7 | ZADDY SHARQ | 39% | 36 |
| #8 | CatKiller | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samwise39 | 30 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | BaboonHotSauce | 21 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | CatKiller | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | ₴aиd_Flєa | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaboonHotSauce | 772 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | ₴aиd_Flєa | 415 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | 242 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | samwise39 | 226 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sir Chickey Nuggies | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samwise39 | +1.81 | 62 | 48 |
| #2 | Psycroptic | +1.56 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | Sir Chickey Nuggies | -0.55 | 41 | 61 |
| #4 | ₴aиd_Flєa | -1.06 | 35 | 67 |
| #5 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | -1.48 | 29 | 64 |





