








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 418 | 18% |
| Smokes | 550 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 580 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 775 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,075 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Psycroptic | 37% | 57 |
| #6 | samwise39 | 36% | 33 |
| #7 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | ZADDY SHARQ | 31% | 29 |
| #9 | ₴aиd_Flєa | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samwise39 | 28 | 0.0405 |
| #2 | BaboonHotSauce | 25 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Psycroptic | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ZADDY SHARQ | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycroptic | +3.48 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | samwise39 | +3.13 | 61 | 44 |
| #3 | {KID} DYNO-MITE™ | -0.32 | 29 | 67 |
| #4 | Sir Chickey Nuggies | -0.36 | 42 | 53 |
| #5 | BaboonHotSauce | -0.59 | 36 | 42 |





