








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 863 | 31% |
| Smokes | 716 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 817 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 415 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,776 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmootheN | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Ång-lokeT:-) | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | LÖrK | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Göösey | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Kurwa Bóbr | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | YåbeN | 56% | 9 |
| #13 | Sugoi | 54% | 26 |
| #14 | Deatheriin | 50% | 4 |
| #15 | Kessali | 50% | 6 |
| #16 | D3TeX | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edwardowiic | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Phear Mowberg | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Sugoi | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | smyger på yard | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | D3TeX | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edwardowiic | 134 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Phear Mowberg | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sugoi | 104 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Feodor Fläsk | 50 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #5 | SmootheN | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strale | +2.84 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | D3TeX | +2.01 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Sugoi | +1.66 | 49 | 78 |
| #4 | Edwardowiic | +1.16 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | smyger på yard | +0.08 | 61 | 58 |





